The 'Good' Hotel

The following was meant to be a response to a comment on a friend's post. Do check the screenshot before reading further...

Hello _____,

I’d like to share an incident.

About the time you probably typed your response, I along with my boyfriend decided to travel south of Bangalore. Courtesy our uncertain schedules, long distance relationship, limited time together (3 days in 2 months) and mutual thirst for adventure, we decided on an unplanned travel. We also had no intention of spending 5k+ on a luxury accomodation.

Needless to say, the bike ride to Hogenakkal falls (via Kanakapura not Hosur) is beautiful! We arrived there at 8pm and found at least ten options for accommodation in a matter of 30 seconds (difficult to explain).

Hogenakkal indeed has a beautiful series of falls - a hidden chasm between land and the River Kaveri. A swirl under the waterfalls on a round bamboo boat can be quite a trill! For the most part, it's a spot I'd go back to again, except the shampoo sachets and 250ml oil massages (that some men have the privilege of enjoying in public), that one might need to mentally sieve. But then again, in this world of crop & filter, that shouldn't be difficult.

For our return the next day, in order to make it in time for my flight, we decided to stay closer to Bangalore and mapped ourselves for a homestay / retreat 2km off the highway. On Google's "destination reached", we found ourselves in the middle of fields with no light source in sight. We laughed and continued to Kanakapura town. Without thinking much, we went to the most decent looking accommodation there - Balaji Residency.

It was in the same building as the SBI bank. It had an elevator, premium floor tiles, large reception, CCTV cameras - safe, clean and approachable, i.e. A 'Good' hotel.

3 minutes into my conversation with the young receptionists, I knew where we were heading. And thanks to Ruben’s post a couple of days earlier, I did not let myself be humiliated, feel inconvenienced or angered (as my instinct would have otherwise made me). Instead, I found myself sympathize with the receptionist who very awkwardly asked for a marriage certificate and I told him, “agar aapko problem hoti hai, toh hum kahi aur chale jayenge” (if it troubles you, we'll try another place).

9:30pm. As we walked down and headed out to look for other places, I told Anand (the boyfriend) about Ruben’s post and the app Stay Uncle. Our other options were lodges – Sun Rise, Hari etc. One look at the entry for Sun Rise, we decided to go check out Hari. With all my hopes set on Hari Lodge we located its matchbox size reception and I put on my chirpy face, because I needed to make this feel as ‘normal’ as possible.

“Uncle, room hai?” (Uncle, is there a room?) He showed us two rooms – clean but stained linen, a window that opens to the corridor, damp walls, stained toilet commode – Rs. 600. Not to mention, the scene of middle aged men chilling across a board of carom with peanuts and alcohol on the side, on the mid-level lobby. I thanked him and said “uncle, sochti hu” (uncle, let me think).

So what was I thinking? The place looks "shady", will it be safe for us? It is our last 16 hours together we will most likely, not be seeing each other for months to come. The least I hoped for, was a room with a window I can open. As we began to make plans to continue riding to Bangalore, the lodge owner came to our bike and asked me, if we needed a better place.

He suggested, “SBI building ke…” (near SBI building...)

Me, “Ji, waha pooch liye hamne” (yes, we've enquired there)

He calls up the owner of Balaji Residency, who calls up the receptionist.

And so, we headed back to the ‘Good hotel’ - The one that abides by ‘such rules’ because couples ‘under the rock’ apparently deserve moral policing in the park and in the hotel.

We headed back, because the ‘Cheap lodge’ which does not have such rules, understood individual freedom or cannot afford to hold a moral compass on what is ‘good’ and because it had a kind decision maker at the reception.

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A day after, on reading your response I knew I needed to share this story. But despite the fact that the event (while being highly inconvenient at 10pm) was not traumatic or embarrassing for me; re-living it was still something I found myself avoiding. It left a bad taste that no amount of dopamine high from likes on Facebook, can overcome.

But then again, I had the luck (and perhaps privilege) that not all people (across the gender spectrum) have. Many others who cannot get by without embarrassment, trauma or sometimes even assault and honour killing.

And so, it needs to be said. It needs to be repeated...

Seemingly harmless descriptions of ‘good and bad’, allow for such ‘rules’ to be imposed by the Police.

Seemingly harmless descriptions of ‘good and bad’, coerce ‘Good hotels’ into passing a judgement on you and I.

Seemingly harmless descriptions of ‘good and bad’, fuel the environment where moral policing thrives and people get murdered.

Signing off, with an unexpected lump in my throat.

Love, Eureka